So, last night was Golden Globes night here in Hollywood. Apparently it's quite a big to do 'round here. Where I lived in New York, we were about a mile from the U.N., so I got used to severe traffic snarls in the name of the President, and all of the other international peacekeepers invading the borough for three or four days. Now, I've got my traffic patterns upset by Borat.
Personally, I don't know where the Globes fall in the hierarchy of glad-handing ceremonies. Is it less than the Emmy's, but bigger than the People's Choice? What about Oscar? ESPY's? Obie's? American Music Awards? You get the idea. I just can't get with the whole thing. Just a big lovefest, and I've got no love to give. No hate either, mind you. Just indifference.
The problem is, now that I'm a local, I feel I'm SUPPOSED to start getting with the program more. You know, "when in Rome...." Does a next day, 30 minute recap on E.T. count as support? That's about all I've got to give to the cause right now.
I imagine if down the road, if Bubba is fortunate enough to ever be considered for such honors with her acting, or myself with my music, my tune might change (pun intended). Maybe rather than cynically criticizing, I should start taking notes? You know, practice the smile, the wave, the proper angle at which to stand so my ass looks JUST right, as well as come up with air-tight "spontaneous" banter. "It's just an honor to be even nominated amongst such distinguished company. We're ALL winners here, Mary Hart. What probably WOULD happen would be that I'd start out like that, and inevitably, my conscience would take over and it'd be like, "It's just an honor to be even nominated amongst such distinguished company. I mean, obviously Fergie spurned a social life to lock herself in her room for years so she could properly resolve altered dominant 11th chords, followed by years of playing in dank clubs to three people the same way I did. We're ALL winners here, Mary Hart." Nah. I'm too young to be bitter. Maybe if I'M ever on the mic, for "Best Resolution of an Altered Dominant 11th," I'll go the Rasheed Wallace route. For those that don't know, he's a controversial basketball player who kept getting in trouble for speaking his mind. So finally he resolved to answer all questions by saying, "both teams played hard." Brilliant. Short. To the point. Non-confrontational.
Awards are fine enough, I guess. I just don't need a panel of "experts" to confirm for me when I've made a dope resolution of an altered dominant 11th chord.
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2 comments:
Wow, who knew even a blog could be subject to advertising (see above comment)! Aye carumba.
And okay, I get it, I'm less sophisticated even than Fergie when it comes to music but is there any chance you could dumb down the altered dominant 11th chord for the uninitiated since it is clearly so significant and would help me to speak intelligently when People Magazine interviews the sister? In return, I'll explain Botox and cosmetic plastic surgery since you're gonna be seeing alot of that out there!
fyi...you're never too young to be cynical. look at nirvana. be cynical and die young scott, it's the only way to go.
drugs help too.
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