Figured I'd make up for my recent silence with an Ernie Banks worthy double-header today. I'm not trying to get all Seinfeld on you, obsessing about nonesense, but I have to revisit the pizza phenomenon out here.
Back in Joisy, multiple family pizzaria's used to use the same pizza box. On it was a drawing of this Chef Boy-Ar-Dee looking paisan, with a big ol' grin on his face and two fingers touching right in front of his face like he'd just had a phat slice that was so good, it compelled him to kiss his fingers and say, "Bellisimo!" Coming out of his mouth in a cartoon bubble was the expression, "You've tried the rest, now try the best!" Three months in to my Cali stay, I think the opposite is true for the 'za here. I know I've opined on this already, but I feel much clearer in my assesment now.
California, you don't....you just don't get it. Pizza I mean. After my first comments, several of my readers pointed out that it's because of the different water that New York pizza and bagels are so much better. While I'm sure that's a contributing factor, in no way is that the whole of the equation. 2 parts hydrogen, 1 part oxygen is a pretty universal recipe, with little room for individual creativity. No, it's the mindset that's off.
In my desperation, I've probably sampled, I don't know, 12 different slices since I've been here. They're not BAD, per se, but they just miss the mark. I don't know what all is going into their individual recipes and processes, but a quick look at the "slice practices" says it all to me. The whole concept of a slice of pizza is, "Hey, I'm a mover and a shaker. I'm a man on the go and I don't have too much time. Certainly not enough for a sit-down meal with all these deals to close. I know! I'll grab a slice, and be on my way in no time!" You go to the pizzaria, size up the various slice pies available, pick something, they re-heat it for 45 seconds, and you're out of there. Here, I swear to God, they MAKE YOUR SLICE FROM SCRATCH. It takes fifteen minutes to get a slice, the same way it would take 15 minutes for a fresh pie. I'm just trying to catch them behind the pizza oven, flipping a tiny piece of dough, like a referee flipping a quarter at kick-off.
Mind you, I am not ordering, a tuna-fish, m&m's, beef jerky and apricot slice that has to be special ordered for me. I'm talkin' 'bout, "Yo, Sal, lemme git two slices, and some more brothas on the wall!" Two cheese slices (used to be pepperoni until a pig entered my world) at 1 in the afternoon, the height of the lunch hour, and they're starting from scratch. That's all I need to know. That says to me, "You have missed the essence of the task at hand." You LISTENED to Hendrix, but you didn't HEAR it (see: Snipes, Wesley).
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4 comments:
If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times, it should be illegal to make and sell pizza outside of the greater metro area. Why? Cuz what they consider Pizza outside of this area is a crime. The fact that they take your money for it...these frauds deserve to do some time, some hard time.
Keith C.
I like your baby picture better....but it's nice to see an update of ya once in a while...
it seems like such a simple concept. make a pie, let it sit there, all day if it has to, and cut off one slice at a time as requested and heat it up if the customer doesn't want it cold. what's the problem with that? don't tell me the failure to understand that is because of the water.
do they still make thai chicken pizza out there? cause that's just plain nasty.
Only a New Yorker would obsess over Pizza. Just sit down and eat the fruity tuity whatever they have out there.
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