L.A.'s Finest

The weather out here has been pretty nice lately. Unless otherwise noted, you can pretty much pencil in L.A. for sunny, high of 75, low 58. This week it got into the low 80's, so Bubba and I decided to get to the coast and the beach a lil' Saturday. We started with a top down ride up the PCH, you know, to feel the wind flowing in our hair, kind of thing. Problem was, everyone else had the same idea, so the PCH was a might crowded. Instead of my corkscrew curls flowing indiscriminately, my hair stood still, leaving me to recognize just how much the California sun seems to be increasing, and/or highlighting my greying mane.


Ever the gawker though, I couldn't help but notice what was going on along the Malibu stretch of beach. Real-life Baywatch. No joke. I could see a lifeguard in the Pam Anderson red bathing suit, holding her post from the lifeguard tower. Binoculars and everything. Then, I spy this low flying helicopter, riding the coast, I'm assuming in search of struggling swimmers. But flying with the intensity and urgency of a Vietnam napalm bomber.

Then, when Bubba and I got back to Santa Monica, we parked the car for a while, and strolled around for a while. We decided to at least dip our toes in the water and on the sand, since we were there and all. And what do I see, but TWO policemen in full gear, on dune buggies, making sure things stayed in control along the beach. I got to thinking, "what could possibly represent, 'things being out of control?'" Open coolers with beer in them? The occasional smoker (it's illegal on the beach there)? A kid with a sand castle tower that violates local building codes? I picture one of these cops coming up to a 6 year-old, and billy-clubbing 4 inches of his sand castle off until it's up to snuff.

I used to see this back in South Orange, NJ. Bored out of their mind cops assigning completely exaggerated importance to inconsequential "transgressions.' I'll never forget, my first job out of college, working in a health clinic in Newark. Anyway, Elmer King, head of "Security," practically pistol whipped the 4 year-old boy who kept jumping on the waiting room chair. That kind of thing.

Still, I DO feel safe now, that no one will kick sand in my face, steal any shade from my beach umbrella, or try to "pants" me out of my swim suit. They take their beaching seriously out here.