The Path To Comedic Enlightenment

So, I'm not a comedian by any stretch of the imagination, though I DO crack myself up pretty contstantly. That aside, having taken a few laps around the block known as life by now, I've learned that if I WERE a comedian, there are certain places I'd go in life for all of my source material. I'm talking about places that are inherently hilarious before anyone has even said a word. If I were a stand-up, I'd just go to these places with a notepad, and park myself for hours. What are such places? The track. Guitar shops. Comic book stores. Casinos. There's pletnty of others, but that gives you an idea. Just comedy gold.
Why do I bring this up? Because there's another here in Hollywood that totally fits the bill. Namely, the Bodhi Tree. Now, before I procede, let me preface this by saying that just because I'm going to lampoon it, does not mean it's without its merits, as I'd say about all of the others as well (except for maybe the track). My better half, Bubba, is a very spiritual person. She's big on energy, dimensions, and other things that she has opened my eyes to over the years. (For example, the first time we met, she read my energy, and told me my life story 5 minutes later, better than I knew it myself). As such, she hit upon the Bodhi Tree as a sort of one stop shopping for all of her spiritual needs. Crystals, books, incense, lotions, potions and the like. Being the good hubby I aspire to be, I've often gone along with her as the Robin to her celestial Batman.
We hadn't gone for a while, and recently returned. Having learned it's better for me to stay out of the way (much as she would return the favor at a guitar store), I took the opportunity to peruse the offerings and catch up on what's going on spiritually in the world. Again, I know enough to know I don't know too much, and that who am I to say what's legit or not in this world. Simulataneously, one also has to keep perspective in life, and appreciate the comedy in things as well. A few things I noticed: Apparently based on the autographed pictures on the wall (much like how you'd see autographed head shots at your favorite diner), to be a spiritually enlightened man, a prerequisite is a ZZ Top-esque beard. I can't even grow a full mustache, let alone a beard, so I feel like from jump street, the best I can aspire towards is, I don't know, purgatory? Limbo?
I made my way to the magazine rack, where I could've gotten lost for days. You wouldn't believe the array of topics for which folks have taken the time to properly chronicle the cutting edge information. I'm paraphrasing the exact titles, but the topics were all legitimately there. You had Bellydancing Monthly; The Real Encounters With UFO's Times; How to Turn Your Household Waste Into Organic Foodstuffs; and my personal favorite, something like Wiccan Life. The genius of that one was that it was all these witch related topics, but presented with a light airyness you'd find in like, Good Housekeeping. "Read about this summer's freshest new spells!" "How to make your coven stand out!" "10 Surefire tips to keep your warlock under your spell!" Just when I thought my head was about to explode, I noticed that somehow, immersed like 2 magazines down, was Highlights magazine. Highlights magazine?!? I used to read that saccarin magazine when I was like 6, in my Dentist's waiting room. How did that magazine possibly end up in this mix?
I headed towards the actual books for sale, and was completely overwhelmed. How can there be so many different paths to enlightenment? Which of the 25 diet books truly knows correctly which bland food will cure my achy joints? I'm serious. Coming in as a relative spiritual novice, how could I possibly be expected to navigate this terrain, were I looking for outside guidance on taking my soul to a higher level? Fortunately for me, my Bubba's done much of the leg work, so I'm covered.